Vianello Rutter - Travels To A Distant Land

Wednesday 20th December - Banana Pancake Virgin

2006-12-20T22:42:00.000Z

Day One:

Up bright and early, we headed back to the airport for our flight to Laos and the ‘Vianello-Smith-Connolley Christmas Extravaganza.'

Our Bangkok Airways flight (fyi best airline ever) landed at Luang Prabang airport, where Mat and Kat were waiting for us with open arms and a Tuk-Tuk to whisk us to our guesthouse. We’re staying at the Sok Xai guesthouse, which is situated in the northern part of the peninsula. It’s a lovely place, very cosy and located just across the road from one of the many ‘monk-filled’ temples in town.

As soon as we had dumped our belongings we headed into town where Mel tried the first of many banana pancakes, Mat has mentioned these repeatedly in their blog but we didn't see them last year. I can see why he loves them so much Mmmmm bananaeree goodness.

As Kathryn had predicted we brought Christmas with us as much as we could and as we watched the sun set, we made up paperchains and strung them along the guesthouse balcony.

We have not seen Kathryn since March and have not seen Mat since our wedding in July last year, so it’s fantastic to catch up with them both and we are really looking forward to spending Christmas with them.

Mat and Kat arrived early and had luckily done some preliminary scouting of the town, so in the evening, they took us to a super barbecue restaurant, which they had discovered the night before. This involved starting a fire in the middle of the dining table and the boys cooking their own tea. At the restaurant we sampled some of the local brew, called lao-lao, which is distilled from rice and goes down far too easily. At this particular restaurant it was sweet and bright green.

Monday 18th December - Transit

2006-12-19T22:17:00.000Z

Airports

You can't fly direct to Laos but we didn't mind as we enjoyed Bangkok during our honeymoon and we were looking forward to seeing it again. Flights to the far east are a fortune over Christmas so we chose to split the flight with a stop and to make it even cheaper we chose to go with Turkish Airlines.

Whoever said “It’s not the destination, but the journey that’s important” has clearly never travelled with Turkish Airlines….or stayed at the Avana Hotel in Bangkok ;o)

Not a fantastic flight….Mel was sat next to Winona Ryder from the film Beetlejuice (or someone who looked, dressed and acted remarkably like her), who proceeded to huff and puff her way through the flight, before disembarking sporting a single white glove (a-la Michael Jackson)….naturally she was travelling “uuutterly alone !!!”.

The flight also saw Melly’s vegetarian meal ‘disappearing’ and taking a good 10 minutes of hunting for another one which was ripped open by the stewardess, given a disdainful sniff and hurled in our general direction. Mmmmm yummy.

Istanbul airport was quite pleasant and so the stopover went very quickly, we were soon re-boarding the plane for the final ‘overnight’ leg of the flight.

We arrived at a very new, shiny, and large Bangkok International airport at about 4pm the following day and slightly flagging, but still fairly bright-eyed, we hailed a taxi, which took us to our hotel.

Unfortunately the ‘quiet top floor location’ turned out to be directly below the hotel ballroom, which was setting up for an evening event - apparently ‘Animal’ from the Muppets was on drums, so we facilitated a quick change of rooms to a much quieter floor and got our heads down ready for our early departure for Laos the following day.

December 2006 - Sunny Christmas

2006-12-17T21:48:00.000Z

Holiday

This year we decided to have an alternative Christmas with our alternative family MatnKat. As I'm sure you all know they are currently traversing South East Asia with nothing more than a bike pump and some kendal mint cake... we wish them luck. Anyhoo they will be passing through Laos over Christmas so that's where we will be meeting them. We can't wait.

October 2006 - Emilie

2006-10-11T23:19:00.000+01:00

Despite fears of Jonny's genes creating a wolf child, Juliana's genes fought back and she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Emilie.

We've gone from being babyless to two within a couple of months.

So who's next then ;o)

September 2006 - Eve Summer

2006-10-11T22:58:00.000+01:00

On the 23rd of September in the comfort of their own conservatory the Wortleys welcomed Eve Summer at record speed. The third beautiful girl for their ever expanding brood and another niece for Uncle Joel to spoil.

August 2006 - Katie Alice

2006-10-11T22:31:00.000+01:00

In August Vicky and John brought Katie Alice to our clan. We have all been very excited about this as Katie is the first baby in our 'gang', a new mind to warp and corrupt ;o) or in the case of Mat, experiment on. It also means that we finally have to accept the fact that we are adults............. or alternatively it gives us the perfect excuse to carry on acting like children under the pretext that it's "for the kids" :o)

Wednesday 11th October 2006 - Baby Fest

2006-10-11T22:05:00.000+01:00

We've had a bit of a baby fest recently and I think it's only fair that we welcome them into our extended family.

Monday 5th June 2006 - We're Off To China

2006-06-05T12:42:00.000+01:00

So, after much debate on where we want to go on holiday this year, we've decided on China.

Having been to Hong Kong last year, it was nice to get a taste of the chinese culture, but, by the very nature of the place, we still felt that it was quite westernised and we wanted to get a bit closer to the way of life for the average citizen.

So, we are looking forward to a couple of weeks of beatings, torture and oppression, although of course due to the strict cenorship laws (particularly the internet), it is unlikely that you will be able to see how we are getting on via the blog.......so if you don't hear from us after a couple of weeks, please feel free to call the Amnesty or the UN to negotiate our release.

We fly out on Wednesday 7th to Beijing and will be based just to the north of the Forbidden City.
See you soon

Melly and Joel

Sunday 21st - Tuesday 23rd August

2005-08-23T21:39:00.000+01:00

Hong Kong Phooooey

Juuuuuust about made it onto the plane at Brisbane…..Mark and Tiff dropped us off at the airport at about 9:15am for our 11:10am flight…….plenty of time……but we walked in to find an absolutely huge queue, which was moving very slowly (apparently Qantas were 14 staff down that day)

After much zig-zagging up and down the airport, we finally made it to the front of the queue to check-in at 11:00am (boarding time was 10:40)…..ok…..so we now have ten minutes to get through passport control, have ourselves and our hand luggage x-rayed….and get to the gate for boarding. Gazelle-like we sprinted through the airport, with the ‘final-call’ announcement ringing in our ears, filling in our departure forms as we ran and arriving at the gate at about 11:15….even managing to squeeze in a wee and stop for some food and drink at duty free….oooooh we like to live close to the edge.

Luckily the plane was still there when we reached the gate and we managed to jump on and take our seats…pheeeeewwwww…..

Arrived in Hong Kong after an 8-hour flight……….hmmmm……after so many flights the novelty of flying really is wearing off and we still have the 13-hour flight home.

Jumped on a train into the city and arrived at our hotel around 8pm….our hotel is in Chinatown….which is a good location as it is close to everything…..

Wow….what a fantastic hotel and room !!!!!…..we managed to play the ‘honeymoon card’ and were upgraded to an executive suit on the 32nd floor with large plasma TV…DVD player etc…etc….and wonderful views of the city….the bathroom has speakers and a glass wall, so you can even watch TV from the bath…

Headed out to investigate Hong Kong the next day and jumped on a tube train over to Hong Kong Island….we bought a 3-day metro pass (called an Octopus pass) at the airport, which we soon realised was essential, as in contrast to Sydney, the map doesn’t do justice to the size of Hong Kong.

Jeez this place is hilly….Hong Kong Island is basically one big mountain, but luckily there is an 800m long escalator system that run a significant way up the mountain, which was great…..apparently all through the day the system runs uphill until 4pm, when everything reverses…..cool…

Jumped on and took the escalator up to the botanical and zoological gardens…..the gardens are free and open to all, which is great, but unfortunately you get the feeling that this lack of entrance fee (hence funding) has a bit of a detrimental effect on the welfare of the animals…..the main attraction is a large orang-utan, who looked very unhappy in his cage.

After the gardens we then jumped onto the ‘Peak Tram’ which we rode up to the summit of the island.…..great views of the Hong Kong City and the mainland, even with passing clouds getting in the way….Hong Kong has a very low cloud-base and it is a very strange feeling watching a cloud come towards and engulf you….

Next stop was the harbour for a look at the Kowloon skyline....which, due to a bizarre lack of pedestrian routes in Hong Kong was easier said than done……however, after clambering over many road barriers and central reservations and cutting through various office buildings, we finally made it…..

After a long day we returned to the hotel, stopping at the night market to pick up some viewing pleasure for our in-room DVD….$20HK (£1.50) bought us the new version of Charlie and Chocolate Factory…..Joel also managed to pick himself up a very nice watch for about £20….

For our last day in Hong Kong and our honeymoon, we decided to head out to do some pressie and souvenir shopping….before heading back down to the harbour for a look at the Hong Kong City Skyline (from the Kowloon side)……

And then it was time to leave…….

Picked up our rucksacks and headed for the airport for our flight home……playing the honeymoon card for the last time, we managed to blag a very welcome upgrade to business class, which made the long flight home much more pleasant.

Tuesday 16th - Sunday 21st August - Brisbane

2005-08-21T18:34:00.000+01:00

Left our hotel to catch our short flight to Brisbane…...we say ‘short’, but it is still 1 ½ hours and 1000km between Sydney and Brisnbane, which is Oz terms is just a hop up the coast……hmmmm…..we’re still trying to get used the scale of Australia.

After the chill of Sydney, we were very relieved to arrive in a pleasantly warm and sunny Brisbane to be greeted by Mark and Tiff…our hosts for the week…...Although they were both working, they took a ‘slightly extended’ lunch hour to not only pick is up from the airport but also whisk us away to a nice riverside restaurant for a cup of coffee and to recommend a afternoon ‘ramble’ for us through Brizzy.

Leaving us at the nearby jetty, they returned to work, whilst we jumped onto a City-Cat, which took us to the main city centre.

We strolled through the business district and into the botanical gardens and sat on a park bench to drink some juice and eat some fruit…..suddenly Joel was aware that not only had he just been hit by two apples, but that his orange juice was on the floor and Mel’s apple juice was all down his trousers…..the reason….a man-eating venomous spider has just dropped out of the tree and onto Mel’s arm (for clarity ‘man-eating’….means ‘small money-spider type arachnid’).

Fleeing from the gardens, we headed across the river into the South Bank area…..as with the London South Bank, it seems to be the cultural and arts centre for Brisbane and was a very nice walk......the are lots of restaurants and food waggons and also a cool man-made beach area, where you can strip off for sunbathe and a paddle.......

We finished the day by jumping back on a City-Cat and meeting up with Mark and Tiff for a few beers at a pub further up the River.

The house in Samford that we are staying at with Mark and Tiff (they are house-sitting for the owners) is lovely. By British standards it’s huge and has both a swimming pool and tennis court in the grounds….’ohhhhhh’…staying here is going to be soooo tough ;-)

Wednesday was a public holiday in Australia and so Mark and Tiff had the day off and generously took us on a drive up to Noosa and Maloolagbar on the sunshine coast to see some beaches…..on the way we passed a place called ‘Mount Mee’ (geddit), which we could not stop laughing at…heehee….we’re such children….

The coast was lovely….’picture post-card’ golden sands that stretched forever, with a plenty of surfers braving the 'winter' seas.

For the following day we had booked a day trip up the coast to ‘Fraser Island’….it is made entirely of sand and is in-fact the largest sand-bar island in the world.

With minor development and no roads it is an unspoilt haven for wildlife and vegetation. The only way to explore the island is via 4-wheel drive car / bus and, as part of journey necessitates a drive along the beach, access is limited to periods of low-tide.

During our trip we saw plenty of dingos, which roam free on the island and admired the various rain-forest terrains. We also stopped off at Lake Makenzie in the interior of the island. Lake Makenzie is a rain water lake, surrounded by some of the purest sand in the world…excellent for cleaning jewellery apparently….Joel applied some sand to his ring and it shone nicely afterwards…..fnarr…..fnarr….

Unfortunately by the time it was time to leave to the island, we were running about half and hour late…”not too bad”, I hear you cry, but with the tide coming in, this meant that out road back to the ferry stop was getting narrower by the minute and delay would mean an ‘unscheduled’ night on the island for us with the dingos….and it is not even as if you can swim to shore as the sharks that roam the waters around the island are notorious man-eaters (not joking).

And so it was, with the sea lapping under the wheels of the bus and a third of the distance still to go that we eventually ‘lost’the road and had to try to drive up a small sand hill and head inland to find another route…or so we thought…..attempting to climb the hill, the bus got stuck in the sand…”d’oh”…..another five attempts and still no joy….not panicking yet….just need to get everyone off the bus to lighten the load.

With night falling and the tide still coming in, the bus hurtles passenger-less at the hill…..and grinds to a halt….stuck in the sand……double d’oh…is that the sound of a pack of dingoes getting closer ????…..another few attempts (by now the bus is having to reverse back into the sea up the its wheel arches in order to get a good run up)…still no joy…..panicking slightly….but, as if in a Hollywood movie with sharks chewing on the bus tyres and dingoes trying to kidnap the driver, the bus finally crawled up the beach to safety…where we all jumped back on board and made it back to the ferry port just in time and headed to the mainland….

Joel celebrated our ‘brush with death’ by ordering kangaroo steak at the local restaurant, before we jumped back on our coach and headed back to Brisbane.

On Friday, we had the loan of Mark and Tiff’s car so we decided to do some local exploring….we first headed to the ‘Australian Woolshed’ a nearby farm / open zoo, where you can feed Kangaroos and cuddle Koalas…..naturally Mel could not resist a cuddle and had her picture taken with a very cute Koala named Eukie.

After picking up some food for a picnic, we headed up to Mount Glorious, one of the highest peaks in the area where we sat and listened to the sounds of the wildlife......then, to work off our lunch we headed into the rainforest for a nature trail walk to admire the greenery.

Finished the day with a drive through the spectacular countryside, before taking Mark and Tiff out for dinner at a very nice pub in Samford as a ‘thankyou’ for their kind hospitality, where unsurprisingly….Joel had more steak…

On Saturday, as Mark and Tiff were at a Wedding, so we drove to the station and caught the train into Brisbane city for some sightseeing, shopping and another stroll around the South-Bank (Saturday is when they hold a craft market). We perused the local craft stalls and Mel treated herself to a tattoo….albeit a temporary one.

That night we found ourselves at the pub……again….and yes…..Joel had steak…..again……

Sunday was the day of our departure from Brisbane to Hong Kong and we were quite sad to leave.....it was really nice staying with Mark and Tiff, not only because they were such fantastic hosts, but also because it was really nice to stay in an Australian home......our hotels have been fantastic, but I do think that nice to see a country through the eyes of the people who live and work there....

Given the nuptual celebrations the previous night, we did however feel a little guilty dragging our host out of bed on Sunday, to take us to the airport.

Saturday 13th - Monday 15th August - Sydney

2005-08-15T09:16:00.000+01:00

It seems we were lucky with our flight out of Singapore as the flights before and after had been cancelled due to lack of BA planes out of Heathrow. There was a huge queue at BA customer services for the flightless. Some of whom squeezed on our plane.

After the warmth of Singapore where historically the lowest ever recorded temperature was 19 degrees (avg 34 during our stay), it was a shock to arrive at 5 am to a chilly wintery Sydney (we could see our breath and Omar our taxi driver had a bobble hat and gloves on).

We dumped our rucksacks at the hotel and headed into Chinatown for a strong 'cuppa joe' (as we hadn't slept on our night flight) and to buy a scarf for Mel (brrrr chilly). After a nap back at the hotel we jumped on the Monorail which took us half way down to the harbour and then walked the rest to see the Sydney Opera House and the sunset behind the Harbour Bridge.

After admiring the beautiful view for a while, we strolled back up George Street (which seems to be the main shopping street) to our hotel.

The next day we decided to investigate Darling Harbour, the next bay round from Sydney Harbour, and where our hotel is. We are beginning to discover that Sydney isn't as big as the map implies which is very good as our energy has been sapped slightly by Mel's slight cold and Joel's severe cold/avian flu/malaria (well he is a man).

Whilst in Sydney we investigated the Aquarium (loads of sharks), the Sydney Museum (hmmm, so we landed, re-named everything and pretended the aboriginies had never been there), the Opera House, the Harbour Bridge and all the streets and lanes in between.

Tuesday 9th - Friday 12th August Singapore

2005-08-12T07:45:00.000+01:00

As you may have noticed we've been incommunicado for a while, Singapore is great and we've been very busy.

Purely by luck we have arrived in the middle of Singapore's 40th Birthday Celebrations so there have been impressive fireworks displays, air displays by military planes and a Carnival in the Marina.

Singapore is very like New York but without the annoying Americans, Mall after shiny Mall which Mel has been enjoying following the retail desert of Cambodia and Vietnam whereas Joel is pining for the simpler life of Vietnam and Cambodia.

We visited the Singapore zoo which we thought was great especially as Mel got to feed an elephant. We then went straight on to the Night Safari which was cool if a little spooky at times.

Singapore has a very good underground train/ bus system so we bought an ez-link card and hopped on and off trains and buses all over the place throughout our time in Singapore, including Little India and Chinatown (where tailor after tailor tried to drag Joel in for a suit).

We also ventured into the IT Mall where we managed to limit our spending to one 1GB memory card for the camera as Joel (aka David Bailey) has managed to fill the other 4 we have with over 700 photos.

Singapore is great for veggies and Mel enjoyed her veggie pork (amazing!?!) repeatedly.

On our last day we popped up to Raffles landing. Sir Stamford Raffles founded Modern Singapore (so you don't have a flag either). We then spent the afternoon slinging Singapores in the very colonial Long Bar at Raffles Hotel.

We really enjoyed Singapore and are sad to be leaving.

Monday 8th August - Viva Da Nang

2005-08-08T11:42:00.000+01:00

Ho Hum, no more free laptop and wireless internet.

Left Siem Reap in one of the biggest storms we have ever seen, however this was the first rain we had seen since Bangkok. Stocked up on choccies at the airport ...... mmmmm sweet brown melty goodness, how I've missed you.

Cambodia was great but for a Vegetarian it sucked and the only place to get snacks was the petrol stations which were surprisingly well stocked with goodies. And on that note Silk Air food sucks, tofu with no sauce or marinating?!?

Ok so one of us didn't look particularly closely at the tickets because instead of descending on Singapore we touched down at Da Nang back in Vietnam. ...... D'oh

Luckily it was only a 30 minute stop over but Joel seemed chuffed as he can now say he's been to Da Nang.

As you can tell we spent a lot of time travelling today so expect random ramblings, for example:

1) After Joel got bored of being asked where he was from by every Tuk Tuk that passed he took to changing his nationality depending upon his mood. He seemed to favour Azerbaijan (sp?) heavily and yet the Tuk Tuk drivers still responded with "great football team" regardless of his chosen nationality.

2) Despite us carefully choosing our clothing for the trip to the Angkor Temples so as not to offend (i.e. cap sleeves to cover shoulders, long trousers to cover knees and trainers for climbing ability) we still arrived to discover the other tourists clad in Kitten heel mules, boobtubes and mini skirts.... and that was just the blokes....brrrm cheeee.

3) We have just filled in our Singapore immigration forms which state "Death for Drug Traffickers" wish us luck ;o)

4) Also funny the things you notice but why give a demonstration on life jacket use for a flight completely over land. BTW life jackets have changed, you no longer have to pass the straps around your waist and secure tightly with a double bow, they now come with clip fastners... oooh leaping into the 20th century.....

Sunday 7th August - Pants

2005-08-07T11:34:00.000+01:00

After a hectic week week we decided to take it easy for the day with a major 'Pants' session. We wrote a few postcards watched a few movies and mooched.

One thing we've noticed in Cambodia is the unreliable power supply, about once every half an hour the power goes out for between 1 and 5 minutes. Must be difficult to live with.

In the afternoon we finally gave in and had a Tuk Tuk ride, it was fun once Joel had finished haggling the price whilst holding the shopping bags out of the starving childrens grasps. They don't steal at all, they just point at the bag and then at their stomachs, it really is heartbreaking.

Siem Reap is a stark contrast of the really rich and the starving poor. Along the main road to the Airport you have huge shiny hotel after huge shiny hotel for miles with their plush green lawns and sweeping driveways. Down by the riverside you meet children begging for the half drunk bottle of water swinging from your hand.

In the evening we went in search of sustainence as we'd worked up an appetite doing nothing. We found a riverside restaurant and Joel ordered Cambodian steak (animal unknown) and Mel ordered traditional Cambodian Marguerita Pizza ( I know I know but it makes a change from stir fried veggies).

Saturday 6th August - The Story of Joel, the Monk, the Weed and the Policeman.......

2005-08-06T06:01:00.000+01:00

After a yummy early breakfast we strolled into town and on the way back we passed a Wat and decided to pop in.

Mel sat in the shade, whilst Joel went to investigate. Whilst taking piccies, he was approached by an orange-clad monk. Even though Joel spoke no Khmer and the Monk spoke no English, they still managed to hold a very animated 20 minute conversation, mostly with hand gestures. It turns out we had walked into a cemetary and all the shrines were 'Stupas' containing the ashes and clothing of the deceased.

After leaving the monk we headed back to the hotel and as usual were beckoned by a 'Tuk-Tuk' driver offering his services.....we declined, however, clearly our travelling attire must have made us look like a couple of stoners, as the driver then asked Joel if he wanted to buy some weed...."You buy good ganja".....naturally he declined ;-)

Back at the hotel we jumped into the taxi that we had hired for the day and set off for the Angkor Temples.

Paid our admission fee (which of-course goes to rebuilding and maintaining the temples and not into the pocket of the company that 'owns' the temples ?!?!?!?!) and started our day at Angkor Thom. We them worked our way around all the temples, including Ta Promh (left to the Jungle...very cool), Preah Khan and Banta Kdei.

At Banta Kdei Joel was approached by a Policeman brandishing his badge :-( and mumbling in Khmer (had he seen the alleged drug transaction earlier ????). Being a Cambodian Criminals 'bunk-mate' in some skanky prison did not appeal, so Joel was on the brink of making a run for it, when it all became clear. The Policeman was trying to sell Joel his badge as a souvenier !?!?!?!?!?!

After our brush with the law we headed for our final temple of the day, Angkor Wat. It was refreshing to be able to wander around all of the temples undisturbed (whether that's a good thing or not?) and climb wherever we felt like.

All of the temples are staggeringly impressive and certainly one of the highlights of the honeymoon so far.

Thursday 4th August / Friday 5th August

2005-08-05T16:18:00.000+01:00

Thursday 4th August - The Evil That Men Do.

Jumped in a Taxi first thing to the Killing Fields and the Genocide Museum. The Killing Fields are about 15km outside Phnom Pehn and to get there you have to use unmade roads .......hmmm bumpy

The central point is a 'Stupa' (Shrine) approx 40 feet high filled with the skulls and clothing of the victims which have been excavated. Even now 25 years on, they estimate that they have still only found around half of the mass graves.

Our next stop was the Genocide Museum back in Phnom Penh called 'Toul Sleng'. It is a former school which was turned into the main prison and interrogation complex for the Khmer Rouge by Pol Pot. For most this was the last stop before the Killing Fields. Of the 10,500 adults and 2000 children apparently only 14 survived. Due to lack of funding it is still very much left as it was during its time as a prison therefore it is very easy to see how disturbing the place was.

Anyhoo back to our sheltered existance. In the evening we strolled down the waterfront and stopped at a local restaurant overlooking the river. Had some traditional 'Khmer' cuisine, which amazingly Mel managed to keep down - she such a wusss.

Friday 5th August - Phnom Penh to Siem Reap

Talk about spoilt, from the second we arrived at the Shinta Mani (the bunny huggers hotel) we've been treated like royalty. They gave Mel a bouquet of Cambodian Wijeelia Begulia (could be?!?) placed scarves round our necks (it's 34 degrees !?!) and handed us coconuts with straws in.

In our room the bed had a heartshape made of scattered petals and the bath was full of flowers, aromatherapy oils and water We were then treated to an hour long facial which included foot scrubs and neck and shoulder massages. Thinking of scrapping the rest of the tour, selling the house and moving in.

We picked this hotel specifically because of its educational programme. In a country where corruption is rife (allegedly even the Angkor Wat temples are privately owned by a huge corporation) money from our booking and spa treatments are used to fund a school within the hotel grounds.

Tuesday 2nd August / Wednesday 3rd August

2005-08-03T14:48:00.000+01:00

Tuesday 2nd August - Follow The Ho Chi Minh Trail

Early start as we had lots to see.

Started with the Ho Chi Minh City Museum, which was very interesting, particularly their view on the struggle againt evil western oppression and their fight for freedom. It was quite refreshing to get the Vietnamese perspective.

We then headed up to the War Reminance Museum, which seemed to have a very strong emphasis on the less savoury aspects of the American behaviour during the war - very Anti-American as you would expect (unlike Bangkok, no Seven-Eleven's here). Plenty of photo's that Mel could not look at.

Nice to see that the Vietnames appreciate irony though, as they are exhibiting an extract from the American 'Declaration of Independence', quoting 'All men being created equal and having the right to liberty and freedom from oppression...........' Nice touch.

In the grounds of the museum were the spoils of war, American Huey helicopters, tanks and planes. We didn't realise that the Americans had stealth technology back then, as how else can you explain Mel clotheslining herself (Ginger Joel stylee) on the wing of an American fighter plane.....d'oh.

By now it was midday and 33 degrees, so we decied to head to the Ben-Thanh market to get Mel a hat. After being asked for 55,ooo Vietnamese Dong, Joel went into haggle mode and countered with an offer of 30,000. After a lot of hand waving and too-ing and fro-ing, the deal was struck at 35,000 (about 1.20 pounds) and Mel came away with a shiny new hat.

It was then on to the Reunification Palace, which was the official residence of the South Vietnamese President and centre of war operations up until the fall of Saigon in 1975. It was from the roof of this building that the President fled by helicopter as the building was stormed by the North Vietnamese, officially ending the war.

We went home via the Notre Dame Cathedral, a legacy from the French occupation (Do you have a flag?!?!?) avoiding the ever-present swarm of Kamikaze motorcycles.

Wednesday 3rd August - Meet the Fokkers

Flew into Cambodia today in a Fokker 70 (Mel flew 'rear gunner' and Joel was in the 'bomb-bay'). It was such a small plane that we could even see the pilots jammy dodgers.

On the taxi to the hotel it was evident that Cambodia is still very much recovering from it's troubled past.

We really seem to be doing well with hotels. Our room was huge and pretty, with a nice view of the Mekong River.

After dumping our rucksacks, we headed out to the Royal Palace / Silver Pagoda, both of which were very impressive. As with the Golden Palace in Bangkok, there is an emerald / jade Buddha within the Silver Pagoda. Joel took lots more arty shots and we moved on to the National Museum.

What can I say, lots of armless and headless stone statues, as unfortunately Pol Pot destroyed most of Cambodias historic relics and temples during his reign.

Anyhoo, we're off to bed now.....byeeeee

Sunday 31st July/Monday 1st August

2005-08-01T15:17:00.000+01:00

Sunday 31st July - Our Weekaversary

For the last day in Bangkok we decided that we had to join the throng of Western rich kids pretending to be travellers (we probably fall into this catergory) in Khao San Road, bit disappointing as terribly stereotypical but amusing and worth doing (plus cheap internet).

After a bit of blogging we then popped round to the Golden Mount (which was ofcourse "closed"). The Golden Mount is a monestary on a hill with beautiful views of Bangkok so a good photo opportunity for Joel.

We then went for a stroll through Chinatown where most of the shops were actually closed, no really they were closed.

In the evening Joel treated himself to a Thai green curry whilst Mel struggled to explain diagramatically what "no meat" meant even though we knew the Thai word for Vegetarian this still didn't help. (Tann Jay btw)

After dinner we strolled back via Patpong with the usual "Ping-Pong" offers (Joel was quite intrigued by the offer of 'Ping-Pong with Chopsticks' for 1000 Baht) in search of some street food, the Thai cuisine version of Russian Roulette - He soooo brave.

There will be a photo quiz on our return as to the identification of the alleged meat.

Monday 1st August - Good Morning Vietnam

Checked out of Bangkok and into Vietnam (btw, Vietnam Airways - best food ever) arriving in Saigon / Ho Chi Minh City at 3:30pm.

Man !!!! this town is crazy, we thought that Bangkok was hectic, but Saigon makes BK look like a sleepy back-water town. The first thing we noticed was the sea of literally thousands of motorcycles filling the road 10-15 abreast...no crash helmets and everyone beeping.

Our hotel is amazing. We are on the 15th floor with a stunning view of the river.

Joel had his first 'blonde moment' when he needed to charge his camera batteries. For some reason the room has UK three-pin sockets !?!?!?!?...and Joel was worried because he only had a two pin adapter.....d'oh.

Anyhoo...we strolled out to investigate Saigon by night, which is very luminous and every bit as busy as the day. Found a Vietnamese restaurant, which was actually quite difficult due to the amount of Italian and Chinese joints around. Joel had beef & noodle soup (the national dish), whilst Mel settled happily for '& noodle soup'. Twas lurvely.

On our stroll back to the hotel we fuelled the child exploitation trade by buying postcards from a 5-year old. She was sooo cute, so naturally Mel crated her up and shipped her home, please feed and water as per the previous instructions for Bangkok animals.

Full day tomorrow...need to pack all the sightseeing in.

Night-night xx

Saturday 30th July - Wanna buy a tiger?

2005-07-31T18:00:00.000+01:00

We finally awoke around 11am on Saturday and decided to have a lazy day.

After reading through our Bangkok guide we discovered that there was a weekend market at Chatuchak, so we hopped on the Sky Train.

The market is vast and smelly and sells everything from chopstick to endangered species, which you could recognise by the large "no photograph" signs over the cages. Naturally Mel felt sorry for every animal there and has shipped them all home, please feed and water until we return. (Don't get too close to the tiger and keep the elephant away from the mice)

We seem to be getting into the Bangkok weather groove and know that we should head for the nearest bar at precisely 4:15pm because at 4.20 pm a quantity of water approx equivalent to half the pacific ocean falls from the sky, but by 4:30pm it has stopped and we continue as normal.

Today we stumbled out of the rain in to a shiny 5 storey mini-mall which even had an M&S which if entered, according to Joel, constitutes grounds for divorce.

We're off now in search of one of Mat & Kat's 50 Baht Thai green curries, yum...... wish us luck.

Friday 29th July - Railway of Death

2005-07-30T17:40:00.000+01:00

We were awoken in the middle of the night, or 5:15 to be exact, by our alarm clock and hauled ourselves out of bed to prepare for our days excusion to see the Bridge over the River Kwai. We boarded our coach at 6:30 and started the 2 hour journey to the Railway of Death Museum and Cemetary (so a lighthearted start to the day) in Kanchanaburi north of Bangkok.

After wandering around the Museum and Cemetary we hopped back on the coach to see the infamous Bridge. Apparently the death railway never actually spanned the river Kwai but only ran along side it. The river that the bridge/railway does span was actually renamed the Kwai some years after construction. Obviously Joel found all this fascinating whilst Mel found it all so boring she even fell asleep.

Next we rode the Death Railway itself and took a train up to Nam Tok through the picturesque jungle. The railway was a very bumpy and rickety ride and remeniscent of the Kraken at Sea World (front row dude!!)

At Nam Tok we headed off into the jungle for a Thai lunch and a long tailed riverboat ride up the Kwai, didn't see any crocs though.

After the long trek home we treated ourselves to authentic Thai roomservice ;) and crashed out around midnight.

Thursday 28th July - Trust nobody

2005-07-28T17:56:00.000+01:00

Please forgive us for being naive, but after every previous bangkok traveller told us not to believe anyone when they said somewhere was 'closed' we faltered briefly at the gates to the Grand Palace. The man on the gate told us it was closed for the next hour for the monks prayer, however to pass the time he suggested a tuk-tuk ride to Wat Po, at which point the penny dropped and we walked past him into the Palace.

We wandered around the shiny Grand Palace, which is where the Royal family used to live, and had a quick pray at the Emerald Buddha before heading off to Wat Po (FYI Wat means temple, Po means post office...... ok we made that last bit up.) Ofcourse we were informed that Wat Po was 'closed' but we just smiled politely and carried on. Wat Po houses the 45ft tall 151 long gold leaf reclining Buddha which really is quite impressive.

After admiring the many other shiny gold Buddhas we decided to leave.... and that's when things got interesting. Our departure coincided with the evening rush hour(s) which also coincides with the mysterious phenomenon where every meter in every taxi in Bangkok simultaneously breaks down and the only way to get back to the hotel is to negotiate a price with the driver. Thus the 50 Baht (75p) journey became a 400 Baht (6 squid) haggle.

It was then that we remembered the water bus so we headed off towards the nearby river. Following the signs it looked like we were being directed down a dodgy alley full of shifty looking characters, but we pressed on and found the bus stop where the water bus had just pulled up.

What would have been an hour long 400 Baht taxi ride became a 10 minute 14 Baht (21p) journey down the picturesque river. By now we felt like experienced Bangkok commuters and had somewhat made up for our earlier naivety.

Back at the hotel we had our first proper Thai meal and now we're heading to bed for an early night as we have a 5:30 am start to see the Bridge over the river Kwai in the morning.

Wednesday 27th July 2005 - You Like Ping Pong?

2005-07-28T16:13:00.000+01:00

Think about this question carefully and we'll ask you again later.

So here we are in Bangkok. We were dropped off at the aiport by Smith-Connolley Taxis and after Mel's bi-annual body search and probe (do I look like a crim?!?!) we started our journey. Flight was fab as after laughing and giggling and pretending to be in love at the check-in desk we managed to score an upgrade to World Traveller Plus / Business class with tonnes of room and complimentary goodies.

We slept through most of the flight and landed at a very hot and humid (34 deg.C) Bangkok at 3pm BK time, 9am UK time.

We managed to jump the passport control queue (which was hoooooge) by joining the 25th Annual Scout Jamboree queue (dib dib dib, etc). We jumped in our taxi, checked in to our hotel and were tempted to jump straight into bed. (i.e. tired not honeymoon nookie)

After a quick relax we headed over the road to Pat Pong night market (hookey gear and naked ladies but still perfectly safe). It was whilst strolling down Pat Pong Street 2 that we discovered Bangkok's apparent love of table tennis as virtually every bar we passed invited us in for a Ping Pong Show. Although we politely declined we did suggest that the Belllingdon Ladies club would be sure to give them a run for their money and they seemed especially keen when we suggested a possible tour next year.

And so to the popping sound of ping pong ball on wood we retired to our hotel room for a long sleep after ordering breakfast in bed for the next morning.

Take My Wife......

2005-07-23T18:48:00.000+01:00

Well, Melly is still surprisingly under my thrall and seems intend on marrying me....but should I therefore be worried???.....to parody a Groucho Marks quote......"do I really want to marry a person who would have someone like me as a husband"????

So... is she crazy…who knows…or dares to dream…(but probably)

Anyway…..it is now the night before the wedding and you might think that we were spending our last hours running around like headless chicken worrying about having picked the right starter or whether the colour of the grooms shoes really goes with cake…..but we are rather surprisingly unstressed by it all.

This is despite being, to say the least, a very hectic week, as not only have we had the build up to the wedding, but also the birth of our very beautiful and very blonde new niece on Thursday.

Alexia Faith Stocker - 8lb 13oz, 16” tall, blue eyes, star-sign: Cancer, likes long afternoon naps and Fisher Price music.....not sure about the name though.....we saw her today and kept calling her Alexia, but she totally ignored us.....so we're not convinced that it is her name ???

But, back to the wedding......all we need to do is turn up tomorrow and by the end of the day I will be able to officially introduce Mel as my 'first wife' :-)

Byeee….

So What's New Then ????

2005-07-11T11:50:00.000+01:00

Only two weeks left until the wedding day and everything is going swimmingly.

Modesty stops me from taking the credit for the painstaking organisation of the event that has taken place over the past few months, but needless to say I played my usual part in bringing this great occasion to fruition.

For those of you who know me however, you will of-course realise that, by ‘my usual part’, I was therefore of very little use to Mel, who seriously considered buying a trained monkey to assist her, as she felt that it would give her far greater input into the organisational process.

In my defence, however, I would just like to point out that I was under a great deal of pressure to finish ‘Burnout 3: Takedown’ on the Playstation, whilst also watching the new series of ‘Las Vegas’ on Sky.

But believe me, once you have seen the design for the topping on the middle layer of the cake (my idea entirely, thank you very much), you will realise that I played a small but marginally important part.

Alternatively, you may look at it and try to stop the wedding on the grounds that Mel should not be marrying me, due to concerns over the state of my mental health.

Time to now concentrate on the honeymoon plans.

Deciding on to see, what to wear and how to best cope with the likelihood of being taken hostage and held for political leverage by the Khmer Rouge, who are demanding greater pension rights and tax deductibility for the purchasing of their weaponry under ‘tools of the trade’.

So what do you wear???

Hey! Call me vain, but you can’t blame a guy for wanting to look his best in a ‘hostage video message’.

TTFN

Joel

Materialism Rules

2005-06-15T13:11:00.000+01:00

Hurrah and Hussar!!!!

After weeks of fevered anticipation (by us) our John Lewis wedding list is now live and officially open for business to anyone who wishes to fuel our materialistic appetite for small pointless gadgets to put away in the kitchen drawers and bring out at parties to impress our friends.

Whilst we thought long and carefully about the content of the gift list, in putting it together, it was clear that our ideas on what constitutes ‘practicality’ were somewhat different, with Joel seeing a poker table as by far the most essential item on the list and Mel (based on god-knows-what kind of crazy hair-brained logic) feeling that a vacuum cleaner would be of more use…..yeah right !?!?!

Anyway, enough about the wedding gifts - let’s update you on our trip.

We have now received all the airline tickets and tomorrow we are off to the doctors for our first set of vaccinations.

We are also trying get visas sorted for Vietnam, for which we have to surrender our passports for about a week to the Vietnamese Embassy for processing - hmmm, not happy about having to do that with only six weeks to go, but we have no choice.

All accommodation is sorted, even Brisbane, where we are planning to stay with Mark and Tiff….they have been so very kind….they are house-sitting at the moment and are putting us up for the week, plus they are lending us their car to use…..they are even letting us have their jobs and clothes…giving us access to their bank accounts…..and their parents have kindly offered to adopt us…..apparently, when they buy a house we can have that too….it’s great…..or did I misunderstand their offer???

Either way....it's going to be so much fun.

That’s all for now folks…

We are Soooo There Dude !!!!!!

2005-06-02T10:05:00.000+01:00

Ok……So it’s 7 and a half weeks to the wedding, which means that it is only 8 weeks to the honeymoon…."woo!!!" and might I like to add "hoo!!!!"

Maps have been made, agendas have been set, flights and hotels have been booked, scary disease jabs from the doctor have been scheduled, the guerrilla warfare and anti-landmine training has been completed, so all that is left to do now is decide what we need to take with us.

Oh…decisions…

It is monsoon season in some of the areas that we are visiting and the Foreign Office web-site advises that amongst some of the risks are ‘flooding’ and ‘possible death’ !!!!

So how exactly do you plan for that then?

What do you wear…..an extra Kagool and a large umbrella are obvious, but do we need flip-flops or will a nice pair of sandals suffice and do Millets have a ‘Natural Disaster–Autumn Collection’ that we can browse?

Anyhoo…we have the rest of a wedding to plan :-)

Byeee for now

Melly and Joel